You know, there are lots of problems in America. The poor are spending our money like it belongs to them, we’re being attacked on a daily basis by Muslims, and Mexicans are stealing our high-paying jobs. But what do these things all have in common? Women, that’s what.
I mean, women are Muslims, and they’re Mexicans. And a few other things that if I mentioned them the pc police would get all in my stuff. And all they do is cause problems.
Let me give you an example. What happened in Colorado Springs is horrible. I mean, women went in there to cut up fetuses for money! Some idiots think they were getting medical care or making sure that they wouldn’t get pregnant. Tell me another joke. I mean, no wonder that everyone is up in arms (literally, get it?). It’s time for us to do something about all these women, and here’s what we should do:
- First, we have to knock them down a peg or two. I mean, how valuable is a woman to society, anyway? I say women are worth about 3/5 of a man (Right men?), so let’s just put that in the Constitution. That means they have to spend 40% of their time serving men – who really run this place – and then they can spend the other 60% on household chores or whatever menial labor they can find.
- Taking care of their medical needs has gotta stop stop right away. It only leads to bad stuff. Doesn’t matter what they want, what’s growing down there or how it happened; just let it be. That’s what Jesus would do.
- If women do something stupid and get pregnant, we shouldn’t have to pay the price for it, even if they can’t work because they have a kid. Cut off all financial assistance for women.
- And why should we pay for their dumb kids? Cut off all early childhood education as well. While we’re at it, let’s dump funding for public schools. Half those kids – and you know which half – are racially dumb, and we shouldn’t have to pay for them. If you’re not white…I mean, rich enough to pay for the kid’s education, just teach ’em about Jesus at home.
If we care about America – and I care A LOT – this is what we’ll do. We’re gonna help all those women to help themselves, because that’s the American way. Oh, and build a big frickin’ wall to keep out all those lazy Mexicans who steal our high-paying jobs, and the Islamic terrorists who keep shooting people in abortion clinics and all.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Go Trump! Let’s make America great again!